100 Questions No One Ever Asks

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? I don't have closet. 
2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels? Nope, but my mom does.
3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Tucked in, duh.
4. Have you stolen a street sign before? No! What kind of question is this?
5. Do you like to use post-it notes? No. I bought it and never use it.
6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? No. I always to make sure use those coupons.
7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? A big bear.
8. Do you have freckles? No, but I have zits.
9. Do you always smile for pictures? Yes.
10. What is your biggest pet peeve? Non-matching things.
11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk? Sometimes.
12. Have you peed in the woods? What? No!
13. Have you ever pooped in the woods? Hah?! No!
14. Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing? Yes, lol.
15. Do you chew your pens and pencils? No!
16. How many people have you slept with this week? None.
17. What size is your bed? King size.
18. What is your song of the week? Back to You by Louis Tomlinson.
19. Is it OK for guys to wear pink? YES!
20. Do you still watch cartoons? Of course.
21. What is your least favorite movie? Jim Carrey's The Mask.
22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? Had no time to think about it.
23. What do you drink with dinner? Water?
24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? I don't dip chicken nugget. I eat it with bread.
25. What is your favorite food? Pasta.
26. What movies could you watch over and over again and still love? The Lord of the Rings.
27. Last person you kissed/kissed you? My brother.
28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout? No.
29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? No.
30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? When I was 8 or 9.
31. Can you change the oil on a car? Nope.
32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket? I don't drive.
33. Ever ran out of gas? I don't drive.
34. What’s your favorite kind of sandwich? Sandwich with eggs, lettuce, cucumber, mustard, and mayo.
35. Best thing to eat for breakfast? Avocado toast.
36. What is your usual bedtime? 12AM.
37. Are you lazy? Mostly.
38. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? A Princess and lady bug.
39. What is your Chinese astrological sign? Rooster.
40. How many languages can you speak? Four.
41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? I had, Bobo.
42. Which are better: legos or lincoln logs? Lego.
43. Are you stubborn? No.
44. Who is better: Leno or Letterman? Leno.
45. Ever watch soap operas? You mean sinetron? Yes.
46. Are you afraid of heights? YES! My phobia of heights is incurable.
47. Do you sing in the car? Sometimes.
48. Do you sing in the shower? Sometimes.
49. Do you dance in the car? Sometimes.
50. Ever used a gun? Never.
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51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Last year, I guess for family potrait.
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Of course not. I love musicals.
53. Is Christmas stressful? I don't celebrate Christmas.
54. Ever eat a pierogi? What is that?
55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Apple pie.
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Cashier.
57. Do you believe in ghosts? No.
58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yes!
59. Do you take a vitamin daily? No, but my mom forced me to.
60. Do you wear slippers? Yes.
61. Do you wear a bath robe? No.
62. What do you wear to bed? Pajamas or some random shirts and shorts.
63. What was your first concert? XIA Asia Concert.
64. Walmart, Target, or Kmart? Alfamart.
65. Nike or Adidas? Adidas.
66. Cheetos or Fritos? Cheetos for life!
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Sunflower seed... kuaci!
68. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? What is that?
69. Ever take dance lessons? Yes.
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? A career he would love doing.
71. Can you curl your tongue? Yes.
72. Ever won a spelling bee? I'm suck at it.
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? No, lol.
74. Own any record albums? No.
75. Own a record player? No.
76. Do you regularly burn incense? I don't do such thing.
77. Ever been in love? Yes.
78. Who would you like to see in concert? Oppadeul.
79. What was the last concert you saw? SHINee concert.
80. Hot tea or cold tea? Depends.
81. Tea or coffee? Tea for life.
82. Sugar cookies or snickerdoodles? Sugar cookies.
83. Can you swim well? Quite well.
84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yeah.
85. Are you patient? No.
86. DJ or band at a wedding? Band.
87. Ever won a contest? No.
88. Have you ever had plastic surgery? No.
89. Which are better: black or green olives? I like green olives more.
90. Can you knit or crochet? Nooooo!
91. Best room for a fireplace? Living room?
92. Do you want to get married? Yes.
93. If married, how long have you been married? -
94. Who was your high school crush? A boy from next door class.
95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? Sometimes.
96. Do you have kids? No.
97. Do you want kids? Yes.
98. What is your favorite color? Pink, red, black.
99. Do you miss anyone right now? No.
100. Who are you going to tag to do this questions next? Deca, hahaha.

100 Truth Questions About Me

1. Last beverage: Water.
2. Last phone call: My number was blocked so I checked on my Whatsapp call. It was Mom.
3. Last text message: Told ya my number was blocked but the last chat on my Whatsapp was my college class group chat.
4. Last song you listened to: Back to You by Louis Tomlinson.
5. Last time you cried: The first Tuesday of this month, got panic attack.

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Got back with someone you've broken up with: No.
7. Been cheated on: No.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Yes.
9. Lost someone special: My cats?.
10. Been depressed: I've been depressed for a year now.
11. Been drunk and threw up: Never.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Pink
13. Red
14. Black

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2017) 
15. Made a new friend: No.
16. Fallen out of love: No.
17. Laughed until you cried: I think I did. I don't remember.
18. Met someone who changed you this year: Yes. 
19. Found out who your true friends were: I don't quite sure.
20. Found out someone has just been talking about you: Yeah.
21. Kissed anyone on your Facebook friend's lists: Does kissing my brother counts?
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: 80%
23. ................? Where's the question?
24. Do you have any pets? Seven cats and seven kittens. Yep, that's a lot.
25. Do you want to change your name: No.
26. What did you do for your last birthday? Went to karaoke with family.
27. What time did you wake up? 4:45 AM for Subuh and I'll sleep again till 6:30 AM.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Game of Thrones season 8.
30. Last time you saw your Mother: 10 minutes ago.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wasn't born.
32. What are you listening to right now? TV sound from the living room.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? No.
34. Who is getting on your nerves now? My sister.
35. Most visited webpage: kissasian.ch & newasiantv.io
36. What is your real name: Wiedha.
37. What are you nicknames?: Wiedha, Teteh, Teh Wiedha, Medan, Double D.
38. Relationship status: Single.
39. Zodiac sign: Cancer.
40. Male or female?: Female.
41. Primary school?: Went to 3 primary school
42. Middle school?: Finished.
43. High school/college?: Finished.
44. Hair color: Black.
46. Height: 152 cm.
48. What do you REALLY REALLY like about yourself?: I am multi-language.
49. Piercings: Had two on each ears.
50. Tattoos: None.
51. Righty or lefty? Right.

FIRST:
52. First surgery: Never had one.
53. First piercing: When I was a baby.
54. First best friend: Nora.
60. I'm about to: Post this questions.
61. Listening to: The sound of my keyboards.
62. Waiting for: Mood for writing.
63. I'm feeling: Itchy.

FUTURE:
64. Want kids?: Yeah. Twins would be cool.
65. Get married?: Yes!
66. Career: Stay-at-home mom and editor. 
67. Lips or eyes: Eyes.
68. Hugs or kisses: Kisses. 
69. Shorter or taller: Taller.
70. Older or Younger: Older.
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous. 
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Arms.
73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive.
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship.

HAVE YOU:
75. Kissed a stranger: No.
76. Drank hard liquor: No.
77. Lost glasses/contacts: Contacts.
78. Sex on first date: No.
79. Broken someone's heart: No.
80. Been arrested: No.
81. Turned someone down: Yes.
82. Cried when someone died: Yes!
83. Fallen for a friend: No.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 
84. Yourself: I believe in myself than anyone.
86. Heaven: Yes!
87. Santa Claus: Never.
89. Angels: Yes. 
90. God: YES. I am a true believer.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY: 
91. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time?: Never.
92. DID YOU SING TODAY? Of course.
93. Did something illegal?: Downloading free movies and music.
94. If you could go back in time how far would you go?: First day at college.
95. Insert randomness here: Hakuna matata.
96. Are you afraid of falling in love?: No.
97. When was the last time you lied?: I don't lie. Well, maybe sometimes. I don't remember. 
98. Are you usually late, early or right on time?: Depends.
99. Would you give your life to save someone else's? Depends.
100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths: Nope.

Skenario Drama Bahasa Inggris SMA yang Harusnya Musnah Ditelan Bumi

Malam Senin atau Minggu malam ini gue melakukan sedikit kemajuan untuk mulai menulis lagi. Walau masih dalam level couch potato, gue sudah mulai mencoret-coret di jurnal serbaguna kesayangan beberapa nama tokoh di cerita yang sedang gue rancang dan sebuah denah sekolah yang akan menjadi lokasi utamanya. Mungkin bagi kebanyakan orang itu sama sekali bukan sebuah kemajuan, tapi bagi gue yang selama berbulan-bulan terakhir ini nggak menyentuh jurnal apalagi buka-buka folder novel on-going, bisa dibilang itu sebuah kemajuan.

Ketika gue selesai mencari-cari ide nama di situs kumpulan nama-nama bayi, pikiran gue tertuju ke lemari kecil yang hampir nggak pernah gue buka. Lemari kecil berwarna coklat muda dengan tiga pintu berjejer. Satu ukuran pintu hanya sebesar kuburan abu yang biasa gue lihat di drama-drama Korea. Di dalam kotak lemari itu berisi barang-barang yang seharusnya tidak perlu tapi entah kenapa nggak bisa gue buang. Ada dua dompet yang lagi nggak gue pakai, kotak sepatu bekas yang isinya penuh rongsoakn, buku biodata teman-teman di Jerman, print-out fanfic hasil kerjaan si Papa, buku diary waktu SD, dan sebuah binder yang gue pakai waktu SMA.

Gue ambil bindernya dan begitu gue buka, isinya seperti tumpahan kertas dicampur barang-barang yang tidak terduga. Ada kipas bergambar DBSK yang sudah patah, foto Super Junior masih bertiga belas, bahkan pasport lama gue. Yang paling membuat gue tertarik adalah saat gue menemukan beberapa lembar kertas yang dilipat dengan permukaan kertas yang sudah kotor seperti terinjak sepatu. Karena gue sama sekali nggak tahu apa isinya, gue bukalah lipatannya dan terpampanglah cover ini.

Ternyata bundelan kertas ini adalah skenario drama pelajaran Bahasa Inggris waktu kelas X SMA. Waktu itu kami di kelas dibagi dalam beberapa kelompok dan setiap kelompok harus menampilkan sebuah drama dengan tema apapun. Walhasil gue dan tujuh orang lainnya memutuskan untuk membuat skenario bertema detective. Jalan ceritanya kita buat sendiri lalu kita terjemahkan ke bahasa Inggris karena kita bikin mentahnya dulu pakai bahasa Indonesia. Kelas X menerjemahkan skenario sederhana ke bahasa Inggris, kalau zaman sekarang pasti cetek sekali ya, anak-anaknya sudah jago apalagi dibantu Google Translate yang jauh lebih canggih dibanding delapan tahun lalu.

Tapi maafkan saya Lord, begitu gue buka halaman pertama rasanya gue mau ngebakar skenario ini. Tunggu, sebenarnya kening gue udah berkerut-kerut waktu lihat cover judulnya dan membaca nama-nama tokohnya. Yang gue pikirkan saat itu hanya; "Ini nama-nama macam apa?". Berlanjut gue baca sekilas beberapa dialognya, gue semakin gemas dengan kemampuan bahasa kami (terutama gue) pada waktu itu. Jelas gue akui bahwa kemampuan bahasa Inggris gue yang dulu sangat sangat sangat payah dibandingkan sekarang.  Untuk level bahasa Inggris gue sekarang aja bisa disebut payah, apalagi bahasa Inggris di skenario ini: FAIL! DISASTER! Benar-benar sebuah kekacauan, bacanya aja gue merinding. Pantaslah skenario ini seharusnya musnah ditelan bumi. Anyway, lucunya kami berdelapan waktu itu juga sama-sama nggak menyadari betapa hancurnya isi percapakan-percakapan itu. Yah... maklumlah kami waktu itu masih hanya anak sekolah yang sedang belajar bahasa Inggris. In case ada teman sekelompok drama gue yang baca ini, gue sekalian mau membagikan skenario kami yang menjijikan itu dan kalau dia tidak menemukan keganjilan di situ, sudah pasti kemampuan bahasanya tidak berkembang sejak kami latihan dramanya.

I Wish...

I wish I was thin.
I wish I was pretty.
I wish I wasn't so stupid.
I wish I wasn't so lonely.
I wish I had bestfriend.
I wish I had someone to talk to.
I wish people liked me.
I wish I could sleep at night.
I wish I could wake up at morning.
I wish I could make people proud.
I wish I could have nicer attitude.
I wish I would never disappoint others.
I wish I didn't care too much.
I wish I was different.
I wish I wasn't so pathetic.
I wish I could be a different person.
I wish I could be a better human being.
I wish someone would love me.
I wish I didn't hate myself.
 I wish I loved myself.
I wish I could stop hurting myself.
I wish I didn't exist.
I wish I'd never been born.

My Depression Story - Part 1: Gagal, Gagal, dan Gagal

Lucu. Mungkin saat lihat judul entri ini, sebagian orang yang mengenal baik gue berpikir ini lucu. Lelucon. Gimana bisa Wiedha yang kayak begitu bisa mengalami kisah yang depresi? Wiedha yang kesehariannya cuma haha hihi, doesn't give a fuck for this world, yang kalau lihat dari postingan sosial medianya kayaknya hidupnya baik-baik aja. Tapi nggak, di balik setiap postingan Facebook, Instagram, dan sosial media lain yang memperlihatkan sisi gue yang bahagia dan sedang baik-baik saja, sebenarnya adalah kebalikannya.

Butuh waktu hampir satu jam untuk gue menatap laman entri blog ini sampai akhirnya gue mikir; "You know what? Let's just reveal everything!" dan mulai menulis pembukaan kisah yang terjadi selama beberapa bulan terakhir yang dialami gue yang hanya beberapa orang terdekat yang tahu kisahnya. Gue memberanikan diri menulis ini untuk setidaknya bisa membuka mata kalian pada orang-orang terdekat yang mengalami hal seperti gue, untuk menunjukkan bahwa kami yang mengalami ini butuh dukungan orang-orang terdekat, bahwa hal ini bukanlah masalah sepele yang seperti awalnya kalian pikirkan, bahwa ini adalah masalah serius yang menjadi penyebab nomor satu bunuh diri. Ya, masalah ini disebut depresi.

Opini Pribadi tentang LGBT dari Sudut Pandang (Mantan) Fujoshi

Gue paham kalau mungkin judul entri ini bakal sedikit sensitif dan berbahaya bagi beberapa orang. But for disclaimer, this is just my personal opinion that I want to share. Ini hanya curahan pribadi gue yang nggak bermaksud menilai beberapa pihak. Tapi untuk peringatan aja, yang abis baca entri ini sampai beres dan habis itu merasa gondok, simpan aja sendiri di hati ya nggak usah ditulis-tulis di kolom komen. I don't need your judgement.

Sekarang ini gue harusnya ngerjain kerjaan gue sendirian di ruang TV, but my sister decided to sit with me while watching some Korean variety show yang ngeganggu konstentrasi gue. Jadinya gue malah buka blog dan nulis ini aja sebagai entri pertama gue. Before we go to the topic, mungkin kalian bakal tanya kenapa gue (baru) bikin blog. Simple, I was bored. Gue selalu punya banyak topik pembahasan aneh-aneh di kepala dan gue butuh tempat untuk ngeluarin unek-unek gue itu. Ya sudah, gue bikin blog pribadi aja. Disclaimer lagi, blog ini dibikin cuma buat keisengan, tempat melepas pikiran dan kebosanan, bukan untuk tujuan profesional.